im such a sarcastic bitch it’s beautiful
*Hears footsteps towards my room* Please dont
THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS
what i never
from my mother
just because someone desires you
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
leaves you starving.
I’m in the living room and I could hear my mom on the phone down in the basement trying to fix something in the vent. So naturally I went over to the vent and went "OOOoooOOOHHHhhhh DeBORaHH!!!!! ThhIIISSSsss Issss YouRR CONSCIENCEEEEE!!!! ConFEsSS TO thAT MURDER YooouUU CooMMiTtEEDDdd in 1983!!!!"
and all I heard back was
“I’m gonna have to call you back. My kids being a fucking idiot again.”
TAHTS SO CUTE WHAT THE HECK